People Are Actually Starting To Talk About the Women's World Cup Already

In case you didn't know, the Women's World Cup is next summer and the United States will once again be one of the favorites -- even though they haven't actually won since 1999. The tournament is also in Canada, which we all know is basically the 51st state, so they should be super accommodating. (via. SBNation)

Whoa. Pump the fucking breaks, America. I said it before, and I'll say it again, we can't be this into soccer already! First we're punching referees to death, and now we're 'getting pumped' for the women's World Cup a full year beforehand? No way. Listen I enjoyed that little run as much as the next American, and I've admitted on multiple occasions that I have reconsidered the way I feel about the sport as a whole. But we're still the new guy here. We just started dating this sport, and if we keep texting her she's gonna think were way too clingy! She's foreign game to us, and there's no way she fucks on the first date so we, as a nation, need to settle down.

I mean, it wasn't even a month ago we were all still making fun of the fact that the most insignificant touch could send a small European man flying through the air, before artfully rolling around on the ground until another small European man took out a yellow piece of paper and everyone goes nuts. Now we're getting boners over posters for soccer tournaments that aren't taking place for a full year. I haven't even started seriously thinking about college football yet, and that starts in like 7 weeks (49 days, exactly #rmft).



PS: I don't have a problem with America getting pumped for the Women's World Cup by the way. It's something I'm prepared to follow extremely closely. Maybe even closer than the men because we're actually favorites in this one. All i'm saying is it's a year away. One year from now I will absolutely be ready to watch Alex Morgan run around for 90 minutes in tiny shorts representing the United States of America. That's gonna be awesome. I'm just used to living in a country that consistently makes fun of soccer, women's sports, and Canada. I'm not saying I can't adjust. I'm just saying I need some more time.

PSS:

Marry me?