Is There A More Consistently Dominant Recruiting Team Than The Alabama Crimson Tide?

Alabama has landed its 2nd 2016 commitment of its July camp with Kentwood (La.) 2016 cornerback Shyheim Carter committing to the Tide on Tuesday, sources close to Carter confirm to BOL. The 6-foot, 185-pounder also had offers from the likes of Georgia, Texas A&M, and Clemson. (via Bleacher Report)

Oops, Big Daddy Saban just did it again. What a week for the tide all around. Just scoopin up top recruits like ground balls. I bet those losers over at LSU and Florida are begging top HS prospects to wear their bucket hats. Not Saban. Absolute savage in the recruiting game. Even big Nick's evil twin Steve Spurrier called him the greatest recruiter in CFB history. Can't say he's wrong. Saban eats this shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh your mom needs a house? Come to Bama. You don't have a car? Come to Bama. You want to win countless National Championships and be guaranteed a spot in the NFL? Bama. Like bucket hats? You get the point. Bottom line, the rest of the SEC can't touch the Saban hustle, and that's exactly why the tide are gonna roll all season again. Hey Auburn, good luck coming up another 105 yd miracle field goal return two years in a row, cause that's the only shot you have...



PS: What do you think happens to you if you date Saban's daughter? I'm willing to bet that the only people who know are nowhere to be found...

Kristen Saban, roll tide.

So Thor Is A Chick Now

In an announcement made on ABC's The View this morning, Thor, Marvel's God of Thunder, will henceforth be a woman in the comics. The news is a major shift in Marvel's continuity, since Thor is one of the oldest superheroes in the Marvel universe. Details are forthcoming. (via Yahoo)

Listen, I don't have any kind of emotional connection to Thor, or any comic books for that matter. I never read them when I was younger. I was one of the normal kids that played sports outside and stuff. I did see the Avenger movie and that's about as far as my Thor knowledge goes. But I feel like this is kinda stupid right? Like, I was about to be pissed off about how feminists probably pressured them into doing it, but I don't even think that's what happened. I think Marvel is just a bunch of pussies..

I have no problem with female superheroes. Like I said, I wasn't really into comic books to have a strong feeling about it. At the very least I think most of them are pretty hot right? I just feel like if you have a character that's a dude, why would you all of a sudden change it to not be a dude? I mean last time I checked, Thor was like a real thing in some cultures, like religion and stuff. The dude is a god of some sort right? Like in actual Norse Mythology. Is this gonna be like making Jesus a girl to some people? Cause I'm pretty sure that could start a war. I don't know the whole thing just seems strange to me. Again, this is probably the last time i'll ever think about it, and i'll probably forget that it even happened in a week's time, but still...weird.



PS: You know what, I could get into it...

 

Are We Really Gonna Let the CFP Off The Hook Just Because The Trophy Is Cool?

OK CFP, i'll give you this one. It's not a bad trophy. In fact, it's probably just as good as the crystal ball. But this hunk of metal is not enough to fill the hole left by 14 days of the best college football ever aka bowl week. Seriously I still can't wrap my head around the fact that people actually got behind the new playoff system. The only thing that changes now is that instead of being able to watch two weeks of bowl games we only get 6. And everything people complained about is still exactly the same. Think about it, idiots. The only controversy there ever was every year in the BCS was over the positioning of the top 3 or 4 teams. Well guess what, that's still decided by a group of "experts" based on the same factors that it was within the BCS. It's not like all of a sudden because there are 4 teams selected to a playoff that everything's gonna be perfect. Now you'll just here about how the 5th place team got screwed instead of the 3rd place team like usual. There's no way i'm the only person that's pissed off about this right? I mean if you're team is from any conference besides the SEC I have to believe this doesn't even matter to you because you've never been anywhere close to a national championship for the last decade. What are the other conferences even doing now that there aren't a bunch of meaningless bowls for them to be in.? You know the one's they're happy to be in "for the exposure"? Calm down BIG10, you had your time. No one wants to watch Michigan play Wisconsin in a power-run-off. If people really wanted to watch only the best teams play for the national title, they'd just give it to the SEC champs and call it a day. People like to watch bowl games. It's the only way you can make a game with a Sun Belt team in it mean something. And there's something really great about that. Because no matter how bad the teams are, it's still a bowl game. People care. So cool trophy, CFP. Ya fucked up.


PS: Do you think they used a mold of Saban's hand for the trophy so it'd be easier for him to lift? Probably right? #rolltide

Dwayne Wade Wishes Lebron the Best in Cleveland, Doesn't Realize He Got Played for 4 Years

LAS VEGAS (AP) — Dwyane Wade wished LeBron James stayed in Miami.And now he's wishing him well regardless.

"As a friend and a teammate, I am sad to see my brother LeBron leave to begin a new journey," Wade's statement said. "In 2010, we decided to come together all for one goal — to win championships and we succeeded. We were friends when we first joined the league and created an unbreakable bond the past four years. Our collaboration will always be very special to me both personally and professionally." (via Yahoo)

Oh no. Look at this poor fucker. Wade can't actually believe that Lebron and him were "brothers," can he? Like, he realizes that Lebron came to the heat because he wasn't going to win in Cleveland and didn't want be the best player ever to not win a championship, right? He understands that he is like the main reason for Lebron leaving Miami....right?? I bet he thinks Lebron is gonna keep texting him every day. No way, jose. You just got played sir.

Kinda sucks to see because Dwayne Wade seems like such a nice guy, but there's no way Lebron feels the same way about leaving. Lebron made a career decision to leave Wade behind in Miami because he basically fell apart in he playoffs and is basically a bench player now. Bottom line, NBA free agency ain't no joke. This shit is real and feelings get hurt. Lebron doesn't have time to worry about how special their collaboration was. He needs to win a championship in Cleveland now or else he's going to look like the biggest asshole on the planet (again).



PS: Someone else had to be negotiating Bosh's contract right? Like there's no way he got that deal on his own. I mean this is a guy that probably doesn't tie his own shoes before games so there's no way he successfully took advantage of Lebron leaving and signed a 5 yr/$118 mil contract on his own right? Either way he definitely won the off season.

Tom Brady Was Gisele's +1 for the World Cup Final

How about Gisele at the World Cup. Must be nice to be able to go to stuff with Tom Brady. She's pretty lucky she's with Tom Brady or she probably wouldn't do super cool things like this ever, right? Wrong.

(via Imgur)

Yea that's the official guest list for the World Cup final and Tom Brady is nowhere to be found. I guess a world famous model who is a 10 in any country in the world is a bigger deal than a passed-his-prime quarter back literally everywhere else but in America. How many soccer players do you think Gisele banged while they were there? Probably all of them right? Probably didn't even bother mentioning Tom to any of them because they wouldn't know who he is anyway.

I actually kinda feel a little bit bad for Brady though. Gotta be a tough spot to be in. Wayyyy out of his element at the World Cup. Gisele is from Brazil. She probably grew up dreaming about soccer players the way every disgusting Masshole chick dreams about Tom Brady. He never really had a chance. Probably just paced around outside their hotel room the whole time waiting for Gisele to let him back in. Rough life for Tom.



PS: Neymar got your girl bro.

Guy Taking A Selfie While Running With Bulls Is An Idiot...Just Kidding, He's The Most Impressive Guy Ever

Spanish police say they are searching for a man who snapped a selfie during the running of the bulls in Pamplona, the Guardian reports.

The unidentified man was seen snapping a photo of himself with his phone during the tail end of Friday's run as two bulls were close behind. (via Yahoo)

So this guy wins the whole thing right? I mean, there's no way you can crush running of the bulls any harder than this bro did by taking a selfie seconds before possibly getting speared in the kidneys by a bull. He's so nonchalant about it too. Not even looking at the phone to make sure he's in frame. He's gonna hashtag #nofilter and keep on running. Just surviving isn't even cool anymore after this dude. You have to take a selfie to even validate yourself running with bulls now. This is what technology is doing to society. From now on, if you don't take a selfie when you run with dangerous animals through the streets of Spain, you basically didn't even do it. Pics or it didn't happen. That's rule 1 bro.

And now the Spanish police are trying to find this guy and make him pay a fine. So weak. They say they can't have people promoting "daredevil behavior." No way. Can't blame this dude for being a badass. Know you're level. This shit's not for everyone. These cops are just jealous because this dude is gonna fuck all of their wives after this goes viral. Typical h8ers.



PS: What color did you always learn as a child not to wear around an angry bull? Red. Bull-running selfie guy in your fucking face.

Miami Is Giving Lebron the Cleveland Treatment

Hey, Miami. Calm the fuck down. When Lebron left Cleveland, they had a reason to be pissed off. Their prodigal son from right around the corner had just dropped the city on its face for a more attractive, championship caliber city. That fucking stings. Especially when you're in Ohio. Miami should be giving Lebron a farewell parade! If Lebron never went to Miami, the only thing they'd have to cling to would be Pitbull. Look, I fucking hate the guy more than anyone, but you can't argue with the fact that he delivered 2 championships and gave a generation of horrible bandwagon fans something to talk about for a couple of years. Is Lebron good for basketball? No. Is Lebron good for any city in the league besides Miami? Fuck no. But was Lebron good for the Heat and their idiot fans? Absolutely. They were fucking perfect for each other.

You know what, as much as I love that he got himself into this mess, I can't not kinda feel for him. This is going to end so badly for him and he has no clue yet. This dude is such a self-centered, "me first" kinda guy that he actually cannot foresee this going any  way but the way in his head. This is a guy who completely believes that Cleveland is going to welcome him back like the prodigal son. Like the hometown hero who is returning after he had been ripped from their arms. But that's the thing. He wasn't ripped from them. He left willingly. And he shit on their faces on the way out. I can't even imagine how much a Cleveland Cavaliers fan who was watching that national TV broadcast would hate Lebron. That doesn't go away. When you see people burning jerseys in the street, that's real hatred. And King James is gonna feel every bit of that hate for real.