DC Uber Driver Kidnaps a Dude

How would you like to be kidnapped in the back of an Uber car and taken on a high-speed chase through busy D.C. streets?
That’s the experience Ryan Simonetti, chief executive of Convene, claims he had Tuesday after ordering up a ride from popular car service Uber.
An Uber driver In Washington D.C. allegedly kept Simonetti and two friends imprisoned in his car throughout a wild 10-minute chase by a taxi inspector. (via VB News)

First of all, I do not feel bad for this dude even a little bit. Anyone who uses Uber should be prepared to be kidnapped at least 5 percent of the time. I'm pretty sure it's in the terms and conditions somewhere. I really wanna feel for this guy and believe that this was actually some kind of tragedy in this guys life, but I half think this is just like the beginning of Super Troopers and this is how DC taxi inspectors get their kicks. One of them pretends to be an Uber driver and stages a kidnapping to let the other guys chase him around for 10 minutes. The more I think about it, the more positive I am that that's what actually happened here. But don't tell Ryan Simonetti that, cause this is a story he's gonna be telling everyone at parties for the rest of eternity..

“Was just kidnapped by an @uber driver in DC, held against my will, and involved in a high speed chase across state lines with police #Crazy“  - @rwsimonetti

“I physically tried to force his leg to hit the brake. I ripped off his pant leg … I said, ‘Here’s two options. You take this exit, or I’m going to knock the side of your head in. If we crash, we crash, but you’re gonna kill us anyway.’”

I bet this Uber driver had no idea he kidnapped Jack Bauer. There was 10000% a chick in that car with him by the way. 'I'm going to knock the side of your head in' is not something you say in front of your dude friends. That's something you say if you're trying to bang your female intern.


PS: Nice tweet, bro. #crazy